Words: Elodie Marriott
Image: Mark Senior

4 stars

Intimate candle pioneer, filmography-forget-er, and alleged hit-and-run skier, Gwyneth Paltrow and her infamously bonkers ski trial has been musically adapted. Accused of “consciously uncoupling” three of Terry Sanderson’s ribs, Paltrow appeals to the audience with hand-on-heart sincerity and bribes of Goop products, renamed ‘Poop’ in this reimagining.

Starring Diana Vickers, I Wish You Well centres the enemies to (one sided) lovers narrative between Sanderson’s lawyer and Paltrow. Cranking up the hot-for-the-opposition aspect, the lusty lawyer sniffs Paltrow’s hair and appears breathlessly intoxicated during cross-examinations. Her hair-twirling crush was embarrassingly obvious in reality, but the show’s interpretation really takes the outlandishness to new heights.

The musical is filled with spoofy earworms such as “Gwynnocent,” in which she pleads with the jury to “trust in me, Gwynnie P”. Weaving in iconic pop culture moments, “Do You Know Taylor?” asks invasive questions about Paltrow’s celebrity acquaintances. James Cordon doesn’t make it out unscathed. Sanderson’s solos highlight two defining traits, his doddery disorientation and his uncensored craving for limelight. The cast perform these pumped-up caricatures with witty precision.

Gwynnocent or not, I Wish You Well is a giddy parody that will appeal to many, not just their self-proclaimed demographic of gay men. And the only thing the audience will be found guilty of is having a great time.

I Wish You Well – The Gwyneth Paltrow Ski-Trial Musical
Underbelly, George Square – Udderbelly,
17:45
Aug 4-11, 13-26,